Showing posts with label The Keeper of Junk Food Wrappers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Keeper of Junk Food Wrappers. Show all posts

September 11, 2008

The Keeper of Junk Food Wrappers


I don't know what to make of this. During my evening walks, I've noticed from time to time a gold Acura parked on the side of the road, roughly half a mile from the house; the car is newish, no dents or scratches, and while the exterior seems to be well tended the interior is a wreck. Each time I've passed it, I've slowed, curious about its contents but too embarrassed to check it out. Well, today I finally did.

Allow me to share.

On the passenger's side, spilling from the seat to the floor, is a pile of junk food/fastfood debris. (And when I say "pile," I really mean "mountain." As in "Kilimanjaro.") Specifically, I counted:

2 McDonald's bags
3 KFC bags
2 Wendy's bags
2 Wendy's red foil wrappers
2 KFC cups, large
1 Haagen Daz ice cream wrapper
1 Haagen Daz ice cream box
1 Nestle Crunch ice cream wrapper
1 Rold Gold pretzel bag, flattened
A mess of empty water bottles, lids attached
Beaucoup french-fry bags. Way too many to count.

And that's just the stuff I remember.

The photo above I pulled from the Net. "My" car is radically worse. The pile reaches up to the window -- actually, it comes slightly above it -- although for some reason it doesn't appear to be spilling onto the driver's side; somehow (how?) the Keeper of Junk Food Wrappers manages to contain it to the passenger side, which makes me wonder what happens when he makes a quick left turn. Does it come spilling onto his/her lap? If not, why not? How does he/she keep it in place?

The back seat isn't nearly as intriguing, although it too is a mess. Papers are strewn everywhere, as are empty plastic bags. There's a proposal of some sort peeking out from under the stash; unfortunately I couldn't identify the company or the name on the report, as I was reading upside down. Not to mention worried about getting caught.

But trust me when I tell you the pile is growing. As is the mystery. Stayed tuned for updates...