January 1, 2009

I Hereby Resolve to Take a Deep Breath

What is your New Year's resolution? Lose weight? Quit smoking? Cut out white bread and chocolate and Japanese rice candy?

Okay, maybe you're fine on that count, but no doubt there is room for improvement somewhere. In my case I'll work on changing my mindset, as so much of my angst revolves around writing: what has sold and what has not, and if it hasn't, what the hell is my problem?

I let all that worry get in the way of some nice successes this year, dismissing the things I'd done right, throwing myself a pity party and believing, for a time, there wasn't a chance I'd make it. I spent three months waffling -- write a third novel, let it go, write a third novel, let it go -- until a friend mentioned she rarely worries about such things, but allows the notion to arrive at will, accepting stories the way they come, rather than forcing them to fit some role.

The timing must have been just right, because I actually heard her -- listened to what she was saying.

I know acceptance will take practice, but here is how I'll begin: inhale and hold my breath, then count to three and concentrate, just let the anxiety go.

1 comment:

Michelle Panik said...

What a beautiful blog entry. I can't wait to be apprised of all the many successes you'll have this year.